It was early in the morning and I was bored
by Coli Chibi
Summary: OpalxButler. I know this sounds like something that the Weird Shipper would do, but i just HAD to do this! Oneshot.


**Artemis Fowl often needed protection. The Irish boy's wit and sense of humor got on many people's nerves, and those people were often crime lords and thugs. That's why he had a Butler. The massive man could break those crime lords and thugs like twigs.**

**However, there were rarely crime lords or thugs at expensive French restaurants. And he had no need for a bodyguard when he had a pretty elf girl with him. Yes. Artemis Fowl had a date. And you couldn't bring a bodyguard to a date. Of course, it was not an official date. Artemis was with Holly Short in order to discuss Opal Koboi. The insane pixie had escaped from her prison about six months ago. The fairy government didn't want to let anyone know about it, so they asked the greatest genius they knew to help find her. Artemis and Holly wanted to talk about it and make plans for the pixie's attack, but Artemis knew something: whenever he made plans, someone got hurt. He was trying to keep Butler out of this one. He did not want him to be hurt, or worse, die. Butler had been dead before, and the healing cost him his life. So Artemis "forgot" to tell Butler that it wasn't a date.**

**So that's why Butler was in the gym exercising rather then giving everyone in the restaurant nightmares. He lifted weights, ran on the elliptical machine, and did about 400 push ups. A lot of exercise, to a normal person, but Butler wasn't normal person. He was an abnormal person.**

**Finishing his exercises, he walked to his room to change into something else that was less sweaty. He didn't know what he was going to do today; maybe he would go to a gun shop and by a new gun or maybe he would go and buy a movie. It was day off he had had in a long time. He couldn't remember that last time he had seen a good movie. Plus, he had heard that Revenge of the Fallen had just come out on DVD. He had wanted to see that, but when ever the commercial came up, Artemis dismissed it as "another waste of hard earned money."**

**Butler entered his room. He felt the presence of the female sitting on his bed immediately, but ignored it. He walked into the wardrobe and smiled grimly. **

**She was here again.**

**If Artemis knew that Butler was seeing Opal other then in combat, he would fire him on the spot. You know, AFTER he checked to see if his friend was hypnotized.**

**Grinning, Butler pulled on a blue tee-shirt and a pair of black jeans, before remarking, "You're back again."**

"**I couldn't help it," said Opal, lying on the bed and smiling. She was wearing a leopard print sweater and a black skirt that went down past her knees a bit. "I knew you would miss me."**

**Butler walked out of the wardrobe and sat on a small wooden chair opposite of his bed. He faced Opal, who faced him back. "So," he said, "Artemis and Holly are meeting to plan for your demise."**

"**I know," the pixie said, stretching her arms. "I'm not worried about that. I have a plan. One that is guaranteed to work."**

"**Didn't you say that about your other plans?"**

"**Okay. They weren't so great. But give me time. I am a genius you know."**

"**I know." Butler smiled. "So, what does this perfect plan have to do with me?"**

"**Oh, I just need you to adopt me," said Opal. "The introduce me to all of your friends. Then, when enough people know me, the LEP can't take me away, because there'll be too many to mind wipe!" Opal clapped her hands in delight whilst doing a little giggle. Obviously, all of her insanity hadn't gone away. Just most of it. **

"**One problem with the plan,'' said Butler. "I can't do that."**

**Opal stopped laughing. "Why not?" she asked in her best cutesy voice.**

"**Because, I don't have many friends. Secondly, I'm a bodyguard, and Master Artemis would find out about it sooner or later. It just wouldn't work."**

**Opal nodded sadly. Then she asked, "Butler, who do you care about more? Me…or Artemis?" **

**Butler blinked. He had hoped Opal wouldn't ask that question. A question that was impossible to answer. "I…I care about…"**

"**I should have known!" Opal raged. "It's always about Artemis isn't it? What about me?!" her voice saddened, and she looked up at him mournfully. "What about you? What do you want?"**

**Butler didn't know what he wanted. He wanted to be with Opal, but he wanted to guard Artemis. It was his duty. He was a Butler. "I…have to guard him…it is my duty…my family honor must be upheld…and I'm the one who had to do it…"**

"**Don't you have a sister?"**

"**Yes. She became a pro wrestler. Lucky for her."**

**Opal nodded. "I understand," she said with some difficulty. "We all have our duties. I gave mine up…and I was thrown in jail for that."**

**Butler smiled, which caused Opal to smile. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. They loved each other, but their relation wasn't sexual. Opal had not seduced him, he came by choice. He had seen his share of poor pitiful creatures. Butler and Opal felt more then love: the felt pity for each other. They both had a lot in life to deal with, but now they could deal with it with another.**

"**So, do you want to watch a movie?" **

"**Why yes, I do. Is it something romantic?"**

"**Actually, It's revenge of the Fallen."**

"**Isn't that about giant robots pounding each other?"**

"**Yes."**

"…**Okay. Why not?"**

**The end.**

**Author's note: Kay, please review and fave the story if you liked it. Also, because I have other fan fictions to work on, I can't do a prequel to this one. If any one is interested, they can do it, provided they:**

**A: Use the best grammar possible**

**B: It cannot be a M-rated fic. No lemons!C: All credit to the idea of ButlerxOpal must be given to me. Make sure to say that it's based off this story. **

**Of course, if you want, you could just make your own ButlerxOpal story.**

**So, start writing, whether it be a spinoff or a original!**


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